I went to the doctor, and confirmed that I was 5 weeks pregnant! I couldn't work at the hospital anymore because I couldn't take X-rays, couldn't be in the surgery room assisting the doctor (couldn't inhale anesthesia gas), couldn't lift heavy things (so couldn't lift big dogs), and couldn't really wrestle animals to restrain them. So I stopped working after Thanksgiving. I couldn't wait for my first prenatal doctor appointment to see the ultrasound at 8 weeks.
On December 7, Dr. P and I went to the doctor with big smiles, but left with tears. From looking at the ultrasound, the doctor told us the baby looked more like 5 weeks old rather than 8 weeks, and there was no heartbeat. She told us that there were two possibilities. It could be that my ovulation was not regular, so the baby really was just 5 weeks old, not the 8 weeks they calculated. Or it could mean that... the baby just stopped growing at 5 weeks. Only time could tell the answer. So we schedule another ultrasound appointment in one week to see if the baby would grow or not. That one week of waiting, we worried everyday.
We went back on December 14. The ultrasound confirmed that the worst had came true. Our baby stopped growing at 5 weeks. Dilation and curettage surgery was scheduled the next day. We lost our first baby.
We are sad, but trying to stay positive. We told ourselves that a miscarriage is better than having an unhealthy baby. We also believe that everything happens for a reason. Our family and friends have been very supportive to help us get through this.
I don't mind sharing my own story because I know there are other women out there who went through the same thing. After my friends found out what happened, they shared their own stories and their friends' stories with me. I didn't realize so many people went through this (especially people my age...). But most of them have beautiful children now. Hearing other people's stories actually really helps. I guess it helps me feel better to know that I am not the only one. Don't worry. We are staying strong, and we will be fine.
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your first baby is kind enough to let you go because he/she doesn't want to come out unhealthy and may burden you too much. I am sure he/she will help the siblings come out beautiful and healthy. Take good care and don't worry too much. It's all good......
ReplyDeleteBelated Xmas greetings and a great 2011 coming your way!
Thank you, 33.
That's exactly what the doctor told us, too! :-)
Congratulation! Now you can eat for two people, more portion(just joking)hohohaha.
ReplyDeleteHappy holiday.
Hmmm I think you only saw the picture but didn't read.
I hope I can eat for two sometime next year. haha...
Awww I'm so sorry to hear that! Good luck and take care, good news will come soon!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Hayley.
I'm so sorry to hear this! :-( I hope you will have lots of strength to give this a place and that the future will hold many great things for you!
ReplyDeleteThank you, AJ.
Sorry to hear you had to go through with this. It reminds of the reality show Giuliana and Bill. Everything will turn out fine.
ReplyDeleteYes, everything will be fine. :-)
Thank you, Jess.
Eileen, I am so sorry for your loss. Life is filled with sorrows---but its such a blessing to have a loving partner that will be there with you to share the heartbreaks along with the many joyous moments that will fill your lives. I wish you and Dr P a Happy New Year.
ReplyDeleteThank you thank you, Rich!
You are blessed with great family and friends and I am sure soon you will be blessed with that little special package! Just stay positive and patient. Happy holidays and keep warm!
ReplyDeleteThank you, cheerylife!
Happy holidays!!
Hi Eileen,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I'm a frequent reader of your blog but I've never commented (not even on your wedding post!), but I really felt the need to comment with this post and tell you that you are in my thoughts. I enjoy reading your blog immensely and I (and I'm sure all the other readers) had no idea what was going on because you write such cheerful posts and you always look to the positive. So Eileen, thank you so much for sharing this personal & very sad experience with us. I really, truly appreciate it. Stay strong & keep us all posted!
*hugs*
-CK
Dear CK, thank you soooooooo much!
Your comment really means a lot to me.
*big hug*
Dear Eileen,
ReplyDelete請保重....把身體先養好...跟你們有緣baby有天會來臨的 :)
恩謝謝Nana!
Sorry to hear you had to go through with this. Stay strong.... keep us posted! Love your blog.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Angel! :-)
I am so sorry for your loss. My mother went through several miscarriages before having me and she said, even though it hurt, it just makes having me feel even more special. I have no doubt that there is a little someone special waiting for you in the future as well. Stay strong and keep being the wonderful optimistic girl we love hearing from. I wish you and Dr. P all the best.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing the story with me. :-)
It means a lot to me! Thank you!!
eileen, we went through the exact same thing about a year ago!! in case no one told u yet the chance of this happening is 1 in 5 (yup, surprising high !) even if ur very healthy and young. just nature running its course! don't question yourself. there's nothing u could have done. our son is now 15 months and very healthy! hope to hear ur good news very soon :)
ReplyDelete1 in 5? I had no idea.
I'm so happy for you! You have a beautiful and healthy 15 months old baby!
Your story is very encouraging. Thank you so so so so much for sharing with me.
I am sure my little special someone will be here when it's time. :-)
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Thanks for sharing of your personal life with us.
ReplyDeleteAncient Chinese methods like acupuncture and herbal therapy could be possible ways to help recover health after miscarriage. It works for my friend.
Take a good care of yourself.
I am looking forward to hearing good news from you soon(maybe sometime nest year)!!
My friend told me to go to Chinese doctor to get Chinese herbal medicine, too.
Maybe I'll try that. Thank you so much, Hiyou1!!
我大哥大嫂當時也先掉了2個, 和妳差不多的時期, 不過我大嫂是因為體質關係.
ReplyDelete一開始我們也都很難過, 尤其是媽媽本人一定更難受,可是那都是過程啦.現在我大哥大嫂有一大一小雙千金, 又漂亮, 又聰明.
依妳和Dr. P那麼優秀的血統, 安啦. 很多小天使都會排隊去妳家, 到時也記得告訴大家喔 ^_^.
喔, 聽說這樣的情形也要照做月子比對, 看時間還沒過1個月, 要好好補身體喔!! 我來煮麻油雞"乎你甲" ^_^.
Everything will be ok!! ^_^
K.J
最近聽到好多這樣的故事
好像很多爸爸媽媽都是經歷過了幾次這樣的經驗
然後現在都有健康可愛的小孩
以前都不知道原來這機率這麼高
我相信老天自有安排
寶寶該來的時候就會來的 (希望是明年啦哈哈)
謝謝你的鼓勵
麻油雞哇假哇假
Dear Eileen,
ReplyDeleteAlthough I don't know you personally, I read your blogs all the time and your blogs are always so cheerful. I am so sorry about your loss. But Don't Worry, take good care of your body, and there are many little ones waiting to be your family. This little one decided that this was not the right time. Keep positive, and let Dr. P love you, let your friends and family love you. The right time and the right one will come, and everything will be all right. Take care, and happy holidays!
Thank you so much for the encouraging words! :-)
congrats eileen!!!! lets go eat sometime!
ReplyDeleteYou saw the picture and didn't read the words, dork. No congrats... :-( But oh well, we should go eat something! Let's go eat after new year!!
Eileen:
ReplyDeleteI had been through the same thing myself, I know how you feel. We are all looking forward to 2011, it will be a wonderful year!
Happy New year.
Awww I'm sorry you had to go through the same thing.
But I know 2011 will be a better year! Happy New Year!!
I was so excited when I read your first paragraph and wondered why such a "blue" title for this post. Then I read on and felt such sadness. You are so courageous and generous to share this event with all of us. Take care and hope to hear your good news soon. Have a great 2011.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the kind words, Extant! :-)
沒關係，再接再厲！不過你自己的身體最重要！我也在等小孩來報到，可惜一直沒消息。有緣分就會來到吧！
ReplyDelete我也相信這一切都是緣分
該來的時候就會來的
我們一起加油喔